This Is Why You Never Had a Boyfriend

For you, who never had a Valentine.

By Rheinalee Casupanan
February 13, 2017


Tomorrow marks another year to celebrate your boyfriend-less existence. You’re not even lonely, for all the world to know. You’ve been single all your life, but every now and then—deny it or not—you get jealous and frustrated with couples who shamelessly cling to each other in front of you. It’s like the whole universe conspires every 14th of February to remind you that, after all these years, you still have no one. And as much as you try to appear strong and independent and cool with being alone, you still can’t help but painfully question your fate and beauty.

Apparently, there could be a lot of reasons why you didn’t—not even once—have a boyfriend. Terrible things are going on in your head right now but drop everything, stop overthinking, and try to identify yourself with the following reasons:

1. You never really met new people.
There’s nothing wrong with your current circle of friends, but if you can’t find someone you are interested to be with (and vice versa), you need to broaden your reach. Perhaps you’ve been navigating the same places all your life, and you don’t even know the people in your own neighborhood. The point is not to be surrounded by strangers, but to know these strangers.

Failing to surround yourself with new people is a personal problem. You can’t just wait for someone to wake you up with a magical kiss and live happily ever after together. Newsflash: Your life is not a fairy tale. If you want to meet somebody, you have to put yourself out there and make it happen.

2. You never knew where to go.
So now, you’re eager to expand your social circle, but you never really know how to start. You have no idea where you should go or what else you could do, and you’re afraid to find yourself in the wrong place.
Knowing where to go is knowing who you want to be with. You won’t be able to identify the right man in a sea of people if you don’t even know the kind of crowd he hangs out with. In addition, you can never be in the wrong place if you know where you want to go.

So know yourself better, decide where you want to go, and by all means, go for it.

3. You never left where you are.
Not knowing where to go is one thing, but not really going anywhere is another. You may not know exactly where you want to go, but staying in the same place won’t help you figure that out either. You’re trapped where you are but you stubbornly refuse to do something about it. Well, it’s your choice.

But to look for love, it’s better to leave now and go somewhere you’ve never been before. You may not find the man in your first stop, but at least you’ll surely find a much more important person—yourself. Your fear and insecurities are what’s stopping you from putting yourself out there. But if you can conquer yourself, you can conquer almost anything.

Being in your twenties without a boyfriend can make you a little bit panicky, for some reason. People can try to tell you that maybe it isn’t the right time yet or that you should wait a little bit more and he’ll come around soon, but it just doesn’t make you feel better. You think knowing the reason why you never had a boyfriend will help you find a solution or develop a plan to create a miracle. But it doesn’t work that way.
Perhaps there’s no specific reason; no exact explanation that could justify why you’re still not taken. You are single, just because you are, period. Even so, know this: your standards aren’t too high, there’s nothing wrong with you, you are beautiful and most importantly, you are worth it.

If you ever find yourself thinking otherwise, go ahead and find the place that leads you to your destination. A woman who knows how to leave is a woman of endless possibilities. The world is huge, and it’s meant to be explored. And remember, being single forever is not your destination—love is.
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